Together Again

I have my boy back! The drive to camp was long--I had to take a detour along a dirt road because of road construction--but I made it to camp around 3:00 Friday afternoon. The campers were having rest hour on their platforms so I waited on the tree swing just outside the boy's area while someone went to tell Jerry I'd arrived. I barely had time to take in my surroundings (huge oak trees, barn, horses grazing in the pasture, Gates Mountain in the distance) before Jerry came running up the hill with a huge smile on his face.

There were mosquito bites all over his face and legs; he was so covered in dirt his belly button might have sprouted something given seed and a bit of water; and an angry rash (courtesy of the California campers' nemesis, poison oak) ran up one arm and down the other. He didn't quite look like the Jerry I'd left three weeks earlier.

We did the standard sappy movie reunion: ran toward one another and threw our arms around each other then held on for dear life--we even stayed put while the sprinkler shot a blast of water straight at us (it was hot).

For the rest of the day we just hung out together. He took me down to his platform, we sat under the apple trees and talked, went to the wood shop where I watched him make a couple mini skateboard ramps. We ate dinner with the campers and went to the dance to celebrate the final night, then we sat around the campfire and sung while the stars slowly filled the sky above us. At bedtime we went off to our separate sleeping quarters (Jerry on his platform and me in one of the little cabins) but Jerry came up to see me bright and early the next morning after he'd waved good-bye to all the campers leaving on the bus and we had a nice cuddle before heading down for breakfast.

We could have left anytime but Jerry lingered. He didn't seem quite ready for camp to end. But eventually we said our goodbyes and headed down the road. We stopped for lunch in the nearest town, and stopped a few more times along the way because Jerry was carsick.

Finally, though, we made it back to my mom and dad's where the boy was reunited with his dog.
We'll be staying here for the week while we wait for the HSC Homeschooling Conference to begin. My parents have gone off to visit my sister in Ireland so it's kind of quiet. Since we got here we've gone to the movies, spent lots of time in the pool, listened to some Harry Potter on CD and done lots of lounging. Today we're heading down to the bay area to pick up Jerry's camp duffle bag (wouldn'tcha know it ended up on the bus?!), visit some friends and go to the Exploratorium in San Francisco. We're definitely enjoying being together again.

Funny Stuff & Self-Control

Jerry's camp called me today to remind me to pick him up on Saturday. Like I could forget. Now that's funny!

What's not so funny is the fact that I cannot drive within a mile of a Krispy Creme Doughnuts without stopping in for a plain glazed creme-filled doughnut. This is a problem. Seriously. Where is my self-control!? I keep saying I want to lose the 15 pounds that's crept up on me in the last decade but then I do things like stop in at Krispy Kreme just because I'm "in the neighborhood," which loosely translates to anywhere in the city of Burbank. Thankfully I don't go to Burbank very often.

And, I keep saying I want to get stronger so I can show up all those talented teenagers in my circus class who make flipping upside down on a trapeze look as easy as breathing (actually, I'd settle for just not making a fool of myself) but do I do push ups? Sit ups? Have I installed the chin up bar I bought a month ago so I can actually lift myself more than a 1/32nd of an inch off the trapeze when I try to pull myself up? No. No. And no.

This has got to change! When I get back from picking Jerry up (which could be this Monday or next depending on if we go to the HSC homeschooling conference in Sacramento) I am going to start building up my strength. I'll probably still stop at Krispy Kreme, though, if I'm in Burbank. And Glendale really isn't too far from Burbank so maybe if I'm Glendale, too. Actually, Krispy Kreme is right off the 5 freeway so really anytime I have to get on the freeway it's just a hop skip and a jump to creme-filled bliss.

See what I mean about self-control?

Contact!

I've talked to Jerry three times since I last wrote. He's doing fine. He's having fun. He misses home. He got poison oak on his arm, but he's glad he went to camp. What a relief!

I think finally talking to him made his absence much easier for me. I started to enjoy my time alone much more once I knew he was happy. I should rephrase that, actually, because I did enjoy it before, it's just that I was working most of the time--cleaning and organizing and stuff. But towards the end of last week I gave myself permission to relax and enjoy myself so I've been watching movies and reading and just enjoying the silence in our house. I've watched "In Bruges," "Into the Wild," lots of "Get Smart" and "Daily Show." I had lunch with a friend, which was great, and we had friends over on Saturday and stayed up late talking and drinking and playing games. Warren and I took the dog for a walk in Griffith Park on Sunday, went to see "American Teen," walked around old town Pasadena and went to a bookstore where I bought Eat, Pray, Love for a friend (I can't stop giving that book to people!) and Breaking Dawn, the final book in the Twilight trilogy, for me. So now I'm deep into the book (it's gooooooood!). I plan on finishing it today.

Things are looking up. It turns out I can survive without Jerry at home as long as I know he is happy. Phew!

P.A.T.H.E.T.I.C.

Seriously. What am I going to do when Jerry grows up and leaves home if I can't even manage 12 days? He's been gone for 12 days now and yesterday I was willing that phone to ring, just waiting for the words, "I want to come home" to sail in through the earpiece. My bags were packed and ready. I could have been out the door in an instant. Okay, my bags weren't packed. But I could have been out the door in an instant.

Last night I laid awake wondering if I might be able to get a job at camp (cow milking? pig deodorizing?) for this last week. I had it all planned. They wouldn't need to give me a room. I could just pitch a tent somewhere on the ranch and I'd stay out of Jerry's way and everything but at least I'd be there. If he needed me he could come to my tent for a quick hug. He could talk to me about the girl that's been annoying him while I milk the cow. He could walk in front of me with his nose plugged while I carry the pig slop down the hill trying not to let it spill on my new farming shoes (because I'd have to buy a new pair of shoes for the job, right?). He'd still sleep on his platform with the boys but he'd know that somewhere out there, under the third Oak to the right, perhaps, his mother was stoking her tiny campfire, reading some Jane Austen, and waiting to be needed. See what I mean? Pathetic. What is wrong with me?!

I should have had more children. Or I should have planned my three weeks in advance so I wouldn't have so much free time for thinking about things and missing people. Speaking of time for thinking, I can't find that Howard Zinn audio book now. That's what happens when you're me. You spend a week cleaning and organizing your house so you know where to find things and then you can't find the one thing you want.

But I shouldn't dwell on the missing or the misplaced. There are lots of good things happening:

1. I got nominated for Allesandra's Homeschool Blog award. Woohoo!! Go to her blog and vote for me! In the meantime I'll try to think up a catchy slogan. Something like, "Vote Colleen! She's keen!" or "New Unschooler! It sure rule-ers!" No?
2. Two students came to look at our room for rent this week and they were both really nice. (The one that seemed more interested does have one slight drawback--she has a chihuahua. Puh-lease. How can you even call those things dogs?)
3. I'm helping a friend with her son's birthday party today. It's a big carnival party and should be loads of fun.
4. Tomorrow I'm having lunch with one of the mom's from Jerry's old school. She's someone I really like who's husband also works in the film business, so we can commiserate on life as married mothers who happen to be single much of the time.
5. A bunch of friends from our Grateful Dead days are coming over for a BBQ on Saturday.
6. Our house did not fall down in the earthquake.
7. Our deck is coming along nicely and even though it's way smaller than we wanted it to be I think it's going to be lovely.
8. I put shelves in one of the closets downstairs and now all of our blankets are in one place so I will always be able to find them when I need them (unlike the Howard Zinn audio book).
9. I'm leaving to pick Jerry up exactly one week from today.

I feel a little better now.

Whole Lotta Cleaning Goin' On

Warren and I cleaned out the garage over the weekend. It was so bad we couldn't get from one end to the other when we started. In fact we could only make it about five feet in--just past the end of the dryer. But now there's a nice clear pathway from door to door. In the process of cleaning we took a trip in the "way back machine," as Warren says. We found lots of old clothes, my cheerleading uniforms, my old belly dancing costume from when I used to dance at a Morrocan restaurant on weekends (pre-Jerry). I read through some of my childhood diaries (hilarious) some of the poems I wrote in high school (even more hilarious) and the newspaper clipping that quoted me as saying "I wish I could do flip flops around the gym" after winning a songleading competition my senior year of high school (still embarrassing). We found our wedding ceremony, Jerry's first pair of shoes and my grandma's china tea cups. Oh, and I found all the souvenir wine and champagne glasses from the proms I attended in high school! Now that's funny. Why did we get wine glasses in high school? I briefly entertained the idea of starting and 80's prom glass collection but decided against it. The glasses, all inscribed with phrases like "Time will reveal," "One more night" and "On the edge of a dream," are sitting on my kitchen counter while I decide their fate. To keep or not to keep? That is always the question when cleaning out the garage. 

Here's a picture of Jerry with the other boys on his platform. I pulled it from the camp website. Jerry is 5th from the left, bottom row. He comes home in 12 days!

Missing My Boy

It's 7:30 a.m. and I've snuck into my friends office on tip-toe so as not to wake her or her adorable two-year-old. I don't have anything earth shattering to write about. I just wanted to let you all know Jerry has arrived safely at camp and I haven't heard a peep--no phone calls begging me to come pick him up--so far so good. He was a little worried when Warren and I left camp. He'd said a couple times that he felt conflicted about staying, after all. But since we arrived on Saturday and spent one night in a cabin together and we had the morning to hang around camp and help him get settled into his platform and meet his counsellors, I think he was much more comfortable than he had been last year. He and Jackson have beds right beside each other and, luckily, Jerry's favorite counsellor from last year is one of his counsellors again this year.

Oh, you know how people (my grandmother in particular) always say it's the parent's fault if the child is a picky eater? That if the parents would just not make special meals for the kid, eventually he'll eat because "he's not going to starve himself?" Not true. Last year at camp Jerry ended up in the infirmary after three days because he hadn't eaten much of anything because the meals they served at camp weren't one of the handful of meals he eats at home. After those first three days the cook just started keeping pasta and rice ready-made for Jerry to eat while the other kids ate whatever she had prepared (so much for our hopes that camp might broaden his palate!). This year I was more prepared. I left some beans and cheese in the kitchen, so he'll have some protein in his diet. I'm hoping that will help.

So it's been two nights now. I haven't slept well for either of them and even though I'm having a great time visiting my friend (I'm off to see different friend today), every other thought that pops into my head is about Jerry. I'm constantly having to stop myself from talking about him because well, it would probably be pretty annoying if all I did was talk about my kid. On my blog, however, I can talk about him all I want and if it gets annoying you are just one click away from something more interesting. So that's the real reason I'm up before everyone else and sitting at the computer. I just want to talk about Jerry. I miss him. I love him. I really want him to have a good time at camp.

Last year the first week and a half were terribly hard for him. He was homesick, of course, and the food issue just made things worse. I very nearly went up there to pick him up after the first week but the camp director assured me that 80% of the time he was having a blast. So he stuck it out and eventually when I called to check-in on him he was too busy to talk. I'm hoping the extra food and the fact that he's been there before will make a big difference for him this year--kinda help him to bypass that first week of homesickness (I remember it well from my own days at camp). Still, I'm going to call the camp today to see how he's doing, maybe talk to his counselor to find out how the eating has been going.

I miss him.

Five-Day Plan

We're taking Jerry to summer camp tomorrow so you may not hear from me for a few days (the horror!). Here's the plan: the three of us fly up to Sacramento tomorrow morning, borrow my mom and dad's car, and drive to camp (even though his session doesn't officially start until the following day). We'll all spend the night at camp on Saturday night (so Warren will get to see it--yippee!) and on Sunday Warren and I will return to Sac (but since Jerry doesn't officially start camp until after lunch we'll probably take advantage of the morning to go for a swim in the river--I can't wait!). Warren flies home that evening, I spend Sunday night at my mom's, Monday night at my friend Jill's, Tuesday night at my friend Zefra's and on Wednesday I hit the rails. Yes, I'm taking the train home! My ticket was only $43!! Sure, it's going to take twice as long as it would to drive, but I'll be blissfully alone with a book (or two), an iPod, and a lovely view as we speed (or inch) along the California Coast. Wahoo!

On the unschooling front we've had a great week. Jerry and I have been making personal crests (we're going to make a family one, too), building with Kaplas, listening to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (poor Harry--it's a tough year for him), putting together a big puzzle, baking, and generally enjoying our time together. Oh, and homeschool park day yesterday was great. It's always a struggle to get Jerry to go, but early in the week one of the boys had sent out an e-mail suggesting people bring water guns (it's been sooooo hot here lately!) and that helped a lot. We picked up Jackson on the way, stopped and bought a couple water guns and went to the park. I hardly saw the boys once we arrived. By the time we left, 2 1/2 hours later, they were soaked to the bone and thoroughly happy about it.

It was a good day for me too. I usually glom onto the same person every week (sorry Lisa!), which means I don't meet very many people. But my friend left early yesterday so I was forced to branch out and ended up having a great discussion with four or five other mom's about why we homeschool (because one of the mom's was new to homeschooling). It was really nice.

Now we just have a couple last minute items to buy for camp, Warren and I need to pack our stuff, and we'll be all ready to help Jerry begin his sleep-away camp adventure!

Beach Days, Computer Fairs & Summer Camp

It's been a busy five days since my last post. On Thursday Jerry and I met some friends we'd made at the Life is Good Conference down at Salt Creek Beach in Dana Point--it was a half way point since they live in San Diego and we're in L.A. The kids had a great time boogie boarding, making sand castles, and playing the DS. We stopped at Starbucks after leaving the beach to prolong our visit.

On our way home Jerry and I stopped by my grandparent's house. It was a quick visit but we hadn't seen them since before we left for New Zealand. At that time my grandma had just gone into the hospital with pneumonia. I'd thought about putting off our trip but Grandma promised she'd still be here when we got back and somehow that made me feel much better about going. You might think she shouldn't make such promises because a person can't control when they'll die, but if you knew my grandma you'd think otherwise. She's not going until she's good and ready. No matter how sick she gets, regardless of the physical difficulties life throws her way, her fierce determination to live trumps them all. Go Grandma!

Yesterday was the day Jerry has been waiting for since we got the idea to build a PC: The Computer Fair. His friend Jackson came over early in the morning and Warren, Jerry, myself and Jackson headed out to the Pomona County Fairgrounds for what promised to be a computer parts mecca.

In spite of the terrific prices we managed to drop a huge amount of money on components. We ended up going with an Intel Core 2 Duo system and followed the recommendations for the value gaming system at SharkyExtreme.com. I made one decision that I'm not so sure about, though. We couldn't find the recommended motherboard so we went with one the sales guy recommended that's almost exactly the same but made by Asus instead of Gigabyte. I'm not sure why I bought it, to be honest. For everything else I stuck, religiously, to our shopping list (we made a stop at Fry's to get the case and I'm ordering one last part--the CD/DVD drive--online). But for the motherboard--one of the most important components!--I bought a different one. Dumb, huh?

After we left the fair (we were almost back to the freeway) I asked Warren to turn around so I could go back and ask the guy to check and be sure the specs were the same. He did and they were pretty close so I kept it, figuring I can always return it if we decide to go with another one. The one thing we got that Jerry can actually use before we get the PC built is an amazing sound system. It was only 55 bucks (with a subwoofer and surround sound) and we love the way it sounds! All in all it was just a really fun day.

Another boon to come out of the day was Jerry's decision that he wants to go to summer camp. He and Jackson went to sleep-away camp together last year for three weeks and they both wanted to go again this year. It's mind-blowingly expensive but it's such an amazing place we were happy to fork over a limb or two to pay his tuition. And then a couple months ago Jerry said he didn't want to go. But they don't do refunds. They could credit the money toward Family Camp or next year's kid's camp but there was no way that money was going back into our checking account. Needless to say this caused some strife. We definitely didn't want to send Jerry against his will, but we didn't want three thousand dollars to go to waste either. And I felt sure that if Jackson went and Jerry didn't, Jerry would regret it in the end.

Yes, we could have used the money for Family Camp but Warren can't attend since he's working and if the whole family doesn't go then it's just not the same. Luckily, on our way to the computer fair we spent some time reminiscing about Jerry and Jack's experience last year and by the time we arrived Jerry was looking forward to going again. I can't tell you what a relief it was! He had said before that he would go to make me happy but I was really uncomfortable with that. I wanted him to go, but I didn't want him to do it for me. So after talking with Jackson and being reminded of the fun and the friends, he says he's going because he wants to go. Not for me. Phew!

So that means that this week will be spent in a mad rush to get him ready to go. Saturday the three of us will fly up to Sacramento (yet again!) and drive him from there, to camp. Then he'll spend three weeks on the most idyllic ranch you can imagine. Meanwhile, I'll be visiting with friends, reading loads of books, organizing my office (yes, you will see before and after pictures!), going to the movies, spending time with Warren, cleaning out the garage, taking long walks on the beach, going to a writing conference, and just generally enjoying a rare few weeks of total freedom. I'll miss Jerry, of course, so I'll also spend time writing him letters (though not as many as last year--he said every day was a bit much) and sending care packages, and checking the camp website for photos of his smiling face. My boy is growing up!