My Mantra & W.B. Yeats

"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire."
-William Butler Yeats

I'm going to add that to my mantra. So, my new Beginning Unschooler Mantra is "Light the fire, watch it grow." That's much better than "We'll see." And it still leaves room for the unexpected--which is important since just about everything, at this stage of the game, is unexpected!

Since it was Yeats that inspired my new mantra, I'm going to post one of his poems. Last Christmas Warren, Jerry and I (I'm using full names now, by the way) went to visit my sister in Ireland and we went to the very same Hazel Wood Yeats mentions in this poem. The photos were taken there.

The Song of Wandering Angus

I went out to the hazel wood,
Because a fire was in my head,
And cut and peeled a hazel wand,
And hooked a berry to a thread:
And when white moths were on the wing,
And moth-like stars were flickering out,
I dropped the berry in a stream
And caught a little silver trout.

When I had laid it on the floor
I went to blow the fire aflame,
But something rustled on the floor,
And some one called me by my name:
It had become a glimmering girl
With apple blossom in her hair
Who called me by my name and ran
And faded through the brightening air.

Though I am old with wandering
Through hollow lands and hilly lands,
I will find out where she has gone,
And kiss her lips and take her hands;
And walk among long dappled grass,
And pluck till time and times are done
The silver apples of the moon,
The golden apples of the sun.

-William Butler Yeats
Here we are in Hazel Wood. Going clockwise, that's my sister with her daughter Cora in the Baby Bjorn, then me, Warren, my nephew Carson, and Jerry.

Funky Town

My husband finally bought an electric guitar! He's been talking about getting one for ages, all the while religiously playing his acoustic every night before bed. Yesterday, he finally made his choice and brought one home. Here he is with J leaving the Guitar Center where, after many hours of deliberation, he chose a Les Paul.J wanted to be the first to play it once we got home. Here's Warren giving him some pointers.
It was a good weekend. We acheived a nice balance of family time and personal time, the weather was perfect, we finally got the guitar. I can't complain. But, you know, I still didn't feel quite right. I felt happy, but not my usual happy. And I've been feeling that way for a while now.

I think I'm in a funk.

It's time to take action. Time to say good-bye to Funky Town. Here's my escape plan:

1.) Take my vitamins every day. (I've been slacking.)
2.) Stop putting things off. The main things I've been putting off are a) balancing my checkbook; b) securing an interview for my next newspaper column; c) mailing the numerous birthday and baby gifts I've purchased in the last couple months; d) dropping off our donations at the Goodwill. These will all be crossed off my To Do List by Friday.

3.) Go for a walk or a hike at least once a day.

4.) Stop reasearching and reading about unschooling and just do it. I've been obbsessed with figuring this whole thing out, but I'm coming to the conclusion that the best way to figure it out is to stop looking over my shoulder at what other people are doing and just do what I think is right for us. (Yes, I know I already said something like this, but I need to get hit over the head several times before a new idea sinks in. This is whack number two.) So, this week I'm not going to read about unschooling, except for in the John Holt book that I started last week. I'll still read the blogs I 've discovered, but I won't go searching for information. I'll just read the daily posts and go on about my business.

So that's the plan. Let's hope it works!

My Computer & Me (Or, Schedule? What Schedule?)

I was just reviewing some of my posts from last month and came across Let's Make A Deal (Or, Creating A Schedule). Two weeks later I can only say Ha! Ha! And double Ha!

Okay, we have a skeletal schedule due to the fact that J takes a few classes, so we do have to be at certain places at certain times. These are the bones:
Monday 4:00-6:00 Chess class
Tuesday 10:00-11:00 Drawing, 12:00-1:00 Japanese, 3:00-3:30 Trombone (It's a busy day!) After Trombone J usually goes to a friend's house to play.
Wednesday 1:00-2:00 Science class (just started this week)
Thursday 1:00 Park Day or Homeschool Book Club, depending on the day (One Thursday per month is free.)
Friday we are blissfully free of commitments.
Satuday J is taking a six week War Hammer Academy class at Games Workshop from 4:30-6:30.
Starting this Sunday he's also taking a six-week class called Kid Inventors at the Art Center in Pasadena.

Mornings are generally spent at the computer, but I'm really hoping this will change. I'm kind of waiting to see at what point J will decide he's had enough sitting on his butt staring at a screen. If he doesn't make that decision soon, though, I'm going to have to get clever about providing some other, more enticing, alternatives. Here's the problem, though. I'm spending my mornings at the computer, too. We sit at the kitchen table, in front of our own little laptops. I kind of like it. I probably shouldn't even admit to this in print because my husband asked me no less than six times this afternoon what we did today. I kept trying to evade the question, but he can be damn persistent. Oh well. The cat's out of the bag now.

What am I doing spending so much time on the computer? I'm reading about unschooling, of course. I'm reading blogs, mostly. I'm looking up articles. I'm putting books on hold at the library. (I maxed out my card today!) I'm posting to this blog. I'm hungry for information and reassurance and the internet seems the best place to find it. At the same time, though, I AM getting tired of sitting on my butt staring at a screen. It makes me feel kind of lumpy--like the blob.

So today, J and I had another computer discussion. We talked, again, about how the computer sucks our day away. He said he'd be a lot less likely to play on the computer if I weren't at my computer so much. (Rats!) So we're going to try a two hour maximum per day--for both of us. You may recall that in my Let's Make A Deal (Or, Creating A Schedule) posting I mentioned that our schedule would include no computer time at all during the week. Well, all I can say, once again, is Ha! The good intentions were there, but now they're cobbled between other, similarly good intentions, paving the way to the infernal regions.

We'll see. That's my mantra. We'll see. I've diverged so far from the Waldorf path we'd been on before that I'm beginning to get a little worried. But...we'll see. I'm trying to have an open mind. I'm questioning my beliefs and trying to find answers that are all my own. Heck, I even checked out a book called Don't Bother Me Mom--I'm Learning, about how computer and video games prepare children for success. I never would have even entertained this thought two months ago. Of course, I'm balancing that book out with another one called Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men, which makes the opposite argument. We'll see....

Things To Do When You Start To Unschool

I've decided to come up with a list of Things To Do When You Start To Unschool. These are things I wish I'd done a month ago when we started this adventure. Some of them are still on my To Do list but I'll be checking them off soon (I swear!).

1. Take a daily multi-vitamin. This is first because it will help with the inevitable ups and downs that accompany any attempt to step outside the boundries of what our society calls "normal"--and, it's good for you. (I'm starting mine tomorrow!)



2. Read Teach Your Own by John Holt and Pat Farenga. It's so full of wisdom and common sense--you'll be a lot less likely to doubt your decision once you've read this book. (I'm only half way through and I can already say that!)



3. Relax! This is easier said than done, but thinking back to what you learned in school and how much of it you use on a daily basis will help. Also, try thinking of the first months of unschooling as a time to rekindle your relationship with your kid(s). Let the relationship be your focus instead of "Learning."


4. Develop your philosophy of education and write it down. This site will walk you through the process by asking all kinds of terrific questions. (I haven't done this yet either. If I had done it, I probably wouldn't have bored you to tears with those last few whine-o-rama sessions because I would have been able to reread my own personal education philosophy, thus reaffirming my choice to unschool and sparing you all the annoyance of listening to--I mean reading--that drivel.)

That's all I've come up with so far. Can you think of anything else I should add to the list?

I'm A Bloupie

Since I have yet to meet the friend I described to you in my last posting (apparently finding such a friend takes more than twelve hours), I've decided to become a blog groupie (a bloupie?) at The Parenting Pit. The guy that writes it, Arun, is exactly the friend I need right now--except that he lives a million miles away, or thereabouts.

His posting entitled An Unschooling Journey was really helpful.

Uh oh, gotta go. J is asking me to get off the computer (a little role reversal!) so I can watch him build a Space Marine.

A Tall Glass Of Whine

I need a friend. She should be a seasoned unschooler, as full of wisdom as I am full of doubts. She needs to live in Los Angeles and she should be planning on staying for a while because I'm tired of having my friends move away. If her husband happens to work in the film industry so much the better. While our husbands are working twelve to eighteen hour days, we'll have dinner with the kids, go on field trips and plan fun (and educational!) vacations. We'll share our whines over wine!

As you can no doubt tell, I took another ride on the deschooling express and it's going downhill fast. This whole unschooling business just seems too easy. We're having fun. J is taking a few classes in subjects that interest him, so I know he's learning something in the traditional sense. But all this fun is making me nervous. I mean, isn't learning supposed to be difficult? What am I doing to his future? Why can't I just pick an emotion (a happy one) and stick with it!?

Back On The Rollercoaster

Was it just yesterday that I said "I love this!"?

I woke up this morning with doubts. Maybe I've just misinterpreted the residual sadness from watching Japanese Story as unschooling doubt. Even so, I find that when I'm feeling doubtful the first thing I want to do is hide J's computer and whip out the Saxon math. Oh yeah, and assign lots of chores.

Luckily for J I wake up earlier than he does, so I have time to google things like "unschooling doubt" before my angst gets the better of me. This morning's google search led me to a gem of a web site. It's called The Home-School Curriculum Advisor and the page that was so helpful to me this morning was Unschooling: Is It Right For You?.

One of their suggestions is that, as a new homeschooler, you take some time to determine your core values and develop your educational philosophy. Mary Hood made the same suggestion in The Relaxed Home School. I really do need to solidify my beliefs. Maybe once I have a stronger grasp on my own personal philosophy and values my doubts will wane and this ride will level out a bit--the highs are fun but I could do without the lows.

Isn't homeschooling great though? How often, especially where education is concerned, are we asked to develop our own philosophy and consider our core values? We're more likely to be handed core values on a platter while someone else's philosophy is shoved down our throat.

When we choose to unschool we grant credence to our children's philiosphies and values as well as our own. What a gift! If our kids never learn that the philosophies we live and work by must always come from other people, won't they be more likely to live lives that are consistent with their own beliefs? And aren't we happiest when the way we live is an extension of the things we believe?

I've found my way back to "I love this!". Phew!