March 11, 2009

Foggy With Patches Of Sun

I'm ever so slowly coming out of the fog. It's a bit too slow for my taste but apparently grief has its own time-line. Since my grandma died I've been sleeping like a rock, which is highly unusual for me, but last night I actually laid awake for a good couple hours worrying about stuff, which might seem like a bad thing (and it really sucks when it's happening--especially if there's a very loud helicopter hovering right outside your bedroom window at the same time) but it's a very normal thing for me to do. In fact, sleeping all the way through the night is downright bizarre for me. So as I was laying there fretting, I couldn't decide if it was a good thing or a bad thing. I'll admit, it felt bad. But still, it's what I do, so in some weird way it was good.

What was I fretting about? TV. Jerry's watching too much. Would I say the same thing if he were reading instead of watching TV? Yes. I would. And I don't like the way he talks about himself. He says he does nothing but watch TV all day. Calls himself a "couch potato" and makes other disparaging remarks. It really bothers me. And, honestly, I think it bothers him. He's really self-conscious about his body now that he's put on some weight. I've actually thought about asking the doctor about it because he went up about four sizes in three months, but I know the doctor will ask about his level of activity and the truth is he's just not very active. So, I know it's not very unschooly of me, but I'm really considering an experimental ban on TV during "school" hours--from about 10 to 3--to see if that changes things. I'm just thinking about it for now. I haven't said anything yet. I find it's best to think about this kind of stuff before acting on it because it almost always works itself out. But the TV thing has been going on for a while. So, I don't know. I know I need to do what's best for Jerry and not get hung up on unschooling the "right" way. And he is a kid that needs a nudge now and then. He even seems to appreciate a nudge. So, we'll see.

In the meantime here are some pictures of Charlie in his favorite pot. We've been keeping it on the floor of Jerry's play room so he can snuggle up in it without wreaking havoc in our cupboards.But then we had to get a picture of him on the stove so we moved him. Kitty stew. Yum.By the way, this is exactly the kind of picture I love to look at on other people's blogs. I love all the background stuff--it gives you a look into how we live (sadly, this picture is a fairly accurate representation). Warren always accuses me of being a Peeping Tom because I like to look into people's windows when we go for walks. It's not like I'm tip-toeing into their yards peering over the window sill, though. I don't even stop to gawk. If the curtains are open I just look in and take stock as I walk by. How is decorated? Where's the couch? What are the window coverings like? Are there toys? Is it neat? What kind of people are they? And these are the same questions I love to answer when I look at photos on people's blogs. So ask away, Sherlock. Peer into the background and deduce what you will.

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