Magic Happens

Call it magic, serendipity, or coincidence. No matter what name you give it, when people, places, and things align themselves to grant your wishes it's really cool. Yesterday morning I was on the phone with my sister, lamenting the fact that I have no close female friends in Los Angeles. I was telling her (again) how I feel so isolated and explaining that I wanted to start up some neighborhood events so that I could build a closer community here in the neighborhood. We're having an outdoor movie night for the homeschooled teens this weekend and I had been thinking that a regular neighborhood movie night would be really cool.

Cut to a few hours later. Jerry and his friend Kyle are on the couch playing video games and I'm loading the car with boogie boards and beach chairs for our first homeschool beach day of the summer. I was on my driveway and saw a woman with two kids (they looked to be about 2 and 4) across the street. I said "Hi," and almost left it at that, but then I asked if they lived in the neighborhood. She said they did and we started talking. I told her about how there were no kids at all when we first moved in, and we shared notes on which houses have kids and how old they are (they're all much younger than Jerry) and how long they've lived there. I invited her and the kids in for some iced tea (figuring homeschool beach day could wait) and we spent the next hour happily chatting while the kids played with sidewalk chalk. I even broke out the old Thomas the Tank Engine tracks.

It was amazing! I felt like I asked for something and it appeared. But, what I realized–and what I'm sure I should have thought of long ago–is that, while the answer to my wish was right there in front of me, if I hadn't put myself out there and spoken to the woman I would have missed the moment entirely. How many other things that I've longed for have been right in front of me only to pass out of my vision because I was too blind (or shy, or lazy...) to see them and grab hold!? I'm not dwelling on the things I may have missed, but I will certainly try not to let this lesson go to waste. From now on, I talk to everyone I see! We're going to plan some neighborhood events and I'm really looking forward to seeing her and her kids again. Finally, a friend with kids in the neighborhood!!

And that was just the beginning of a fabulous day. After Rebecca left, I finished loading the car, then Jerry, Kyle and I headed for the beach. I wasn't sure if we'd know anyone, but we did–two of Jerry's good friends were there. It was really great. Kyle spent almost the entire time in the water while Jerry hung out on the sand and I talked to the other moms and one of the teen girls. Then we went down to the Santa Monica pier with another family for some video games and a couple rides.

Fun was had by all.

Rule Number One

Don't start a new blog while you're on vacation. You may think you have time to post to a new blog, in addition to posting to your old one and going to school and being a wife, mother, friend, volunteer, part-time writer, world traveler and informed citizen. But, you don't. It only feels like you do because you're on vacation. Not that any of you would do something so ridiculous. Some people just don't think. They get all excited about an idea and they run with it all willy nilly before asking themselves if they will be able to follow through. Silly people.

Well, now that I've got that little public service announcement out of the way, let me catch you up on what's been going on around here. In a word--lots! We leave for New York on Friday morning. Yippee! And guess what?! I'm finally going to meet Holly from Unschool Days. I'm so excited! We're going to spend a day at the zoo together with the kids. I'm also going to meet up with a friend from elementary school who I haven't seen in 30 years (gotta love Facebook). And, of course, we're staying with one of my very best friends in the whole wide world (even though she abandoned me and moved across the country), Terri, and I'll get to see my other good friend (who also abandoned me), Gabbi. If you're sensing abandonment issues here you're very perceptive. I'm a glutton for punishment, though. I have a knack for falling in love with people about two years before they decide to move very far away (Zefra!).

We'll be in New York for Warren's birthday, but I already got him a gift--a heavy bag. I found one on craigslist and luckily the people I bought it from had a truck so they brought it to our house and helped me sneak it into the garage (while Warren was working in the office). So it was a nice surprise (though I had a hard time luring him into the garage and even then I had to point it out to him--and it's huge!). So he's been taking his aggression out on the heavy bag and getting a good workout to boot.

Jerry's XBox has the dreaded red rings, so we may have to send it in to be fixed. It still works intermittently, though so we were able to play some Halo last night before I went to bed. It was my first try and I got killed every 30 seconds. I did manage to kill Jerry once, though, when he put his avatar right in front of me and said, "Aim at my head! My head! No, that's my chest!" My favorite quote of the game was also from Jerry: "Nik! Stop killing my mom. I'm still teaching her to use the controls!" Halo lends itself to memorable lines.

I've been really busy (as you might have guessed since I've completely neglected my blog). It turns out that taking two classes is a lot of work. I love it though. I love, love, love going to school. And this week in particular has been crazy. I'm trying to finish my assignments before we leave so I won't need to take them with me. I also need to write an article for the newspaper (that picture of the teacher made it onto the cover, by the way!), take Jerry to the doctor's, clean the house, and take Patsy to my friend Jeff's house. Speaking of friends, I've had one of those fabulous weeks when I get to see a lot of friends. It hardly ever happens. On Sunday I took some pictures for my friend, Edward, who needed headshots. Handsome, eh? (And he's available, ladies!)
On Monday I went to visit a special library at the Natural History Museum for a class assignment and ran into our friend Michael (he works there) so we had lunch together. Then on Tuesday I met my friend Lisa, who I hardly ever get to see even though she now lives 15 minutes from my house, for coffee. And then tomorrow I get to see my friend Jeff because I'm taking Patsy down to stay with him and his dog, Sophie, for the week. I love weeks like this because they remind me that I actually do have friends within easy driving distance.

Oh, the other exciting news, which I may have already mentioned, is that plans for the LIFE is Good buddy system are well under way. I'm so excited to be able to take part in some of the planning and organizing this year and I hope the buddy system makes being a new conference goer easier and more enjoyable (i.e. less lonely) for people. I'm counting down the days until May 27!

Well, it's 8:30 now and I think I'd better hit the books before I have to wake Jerry up for his appointment. The reading is the one thing I'm not so crazy about with taking these library classes. I mean, how much can a person say about working in a library? It turns out they can say a lot. And they can say the same thing. Over. And over. And over. And most of it's just common sense, anyway. Still, if I want that A (and do I ever!) I have to do the reading. So....here I go.

LIFE is Good (Again!)

I (finally) made my hotel reservations for the LIFE is Good conference!! Yippee! I can't wait! I hit a glitch with the conference registration but I'm going to try again in a few minutes and hope that it'll work the second time around. If you're an unschooler and you live less that a thousand miles from Vancouver, Washington I urge you to attend. It's such a great time. This year I'm going to help out by pairing new conference goers up with seasoned conference attendees, so that newcomers don't need to feel out of the loop. I hope people will take advantage of the service because I think it will really help the first-timers to feel more included. At least I hope it will.

In other news, we've had an absolutely fabulous week. Jerry's new friend Kaiden slept over on Tuesday (after park day), then Summer came over Wednesday morning (have I mentioned how much I love having my niece come over) and we went to circus class, walked the dog (four people to one dog ratio), stopped at the store for ice cream, had lunch (and ice cream) at home, then I took Summer to our knitting group (in which we do way more visiting than knitting), came home, made dinner, watched "The Jerk" (hilarious), and Summer spent the night. Thursday morning Jerry had Japanese, then we walked the dog, picked up his friend, Shea, and Shea, Jerry, Summer and I headed over to Culver City where Jerry and Shea played D&D with two other boys while Summer and I went for a walk on the beach (I don't understand this fabulous weather we've been having, but I love it.) before I dropped her off at her dad's work. Then I picked up Shea and Jerry and brought Nik home, too. The boys played Nik's Halo game for a couple hours, had dinner, and then Nik's mom came to get him and I drove Shea home. Today I plan on recovering from the last few busy, very social days, and preparing for hosting a dinner party tomorrow night with the director and other editors from "Aliens in the Attic" (the film Warren worked on in New Zealand--by the way, have I mentioned that you should see the movie, buy the DVD, etc? Warren had a small speaking role as "Radio Announcer" in that movie, so he gets residuals!). So there's the dinner party tomorrow and then Sunday I'm going to dance class in preparation for the Jane Austen Ball which is a week from tomorrow! I love the Jane Austen Ball!!

So many good things all at once....

New Friends

So I mentioned a while back that Jerry's best friend was sort of drifting away. These things happen, I know. People grow apart. Blah, blah, blah. But it's just so painful when you're not the one doing the leaving. So I've been taking on all this angst and pain and letting Jerry's hurts be mine and wow is that a bad idea. It made me grouchy and sad and short tempered (and being sick didn't help). I guess if Jerry were my second or third child I would already know that I can't take on his battles. I can stand by and offer support, but it doesn't really do a lot of good for me to stand beside him and fight. Or for me to do his fighting for him. So I figured that out. And I stopped checking his friend's Facebook page. [Pathetic, I know. But I was trying to figure out a) Why he was so mean to Jerry on New Year's Eve (his girlfriend broke up with him), b) If maybe he's just been busy (doesn't seem like it), and c) If the meanness had extended to the internet (no).] And I decided to just accept the fact that friends change, it can be painful, and we all have to figure out how to cope.

I feel so much better now that I'm just the facilitator. I'm on the side, driving him to the opportunities where he can make friends. I'm scheduling play dates and sleep overs and I'm offering an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on when needed. I'm not spending all day thinking up new friend-making opportunities. I'm not wallowing in Jerry's pity. I'm just letting things be. And guess what? It turns out a person can just let things be and the sky doesn't fall.

So there you have it. My new motto. "Let it be." (Except for my house--we're purging and getting rid of stuff and organizing. I definitely do not want to let my house be.) Of course, just because that's my new motto doesn't mean I'll stick with it. But it'll be a good reminder to kind of mind my own business.

Anyway, the fabulous happy news of the day is that Jerry had a sleep over with a new friend last night! Yippee! And we have a new park day that we've been going to where I really, really like the other moms (there are only eight of us) and the kids. It's a bit of a drive but the location is lovely and there are a good number of boys there that are close to Jerry's age. And he likes it.

There's more good stuff I could write about, but Warren just started brewing coffee, put Tom Waits on the CD-player ('Ol 55) and put a piece of warm, buttered corn bread in front of me. It's raining outside, it's warm in my kitchen, and I need to go enjoy my life!

Why?! Why?! Why?!

So, Jerry has three close friends, right? He has Jackson, Shea, and Yulia.

Jackson and Jerry met at age 2 and spent the next 11 years glued together at the hip. Sure they went to different schools, but they spent every possible moment--that they weren't in school or doing homework--together. In the last year, however, Jackson has become more involved in school and school friends. He's been more difficult to get together with, and for the second year in a row Jackson made other plans for Halloween even though the two of them have a tradition of trick or treating together. So that's been hard on Jerry. He feels like Jackson is "dumping" him. I've been trying to figure out if Jackson is feeling like he and Jerry don't share the same interests anymore or if he really is just busy, and then the other day Jerry tells me Jackson has a girlfriend. Well, that explains it! So, Jackson has a girlfriend. Strike one.

Then there's Yulia. Yulia is the only person from our homeschool group that Jerry really clicked with. And boy did they click. They met a little over a year ago and formed a fast friendship. These two totally speak the same language. When he found out Yulia was moving, Jerry was devastated and since she moved to Texas (at the end of September) Jerry has really missed her. Strike two.

Then there's Shea. We met Shea when Jerry was homescholing in kindergarten, then lost touch when Jerry started school the following year. But in the past year Shea and Jerry have rekindled their friendship and it's been really great because Shea lives two minutes from our house. I love that I can just bop over and pick him up for last minute play dates. Well, I found out yesterday that Shea's family is moving--to Portland!!! Strike three!!

What is happening here!? Why is the universe conspiring to take all Jerry's friends away? Can somebody please cut the kid a break? I know he'll be gaining valuable life lessons from all this. Blah, blah, blah. But really? Does it all have to happen at once? He's having a hard enough time sorting out how he feels about Yulia leaving. And Jackson having a girlfriend. And now Shea will be going, too? Come on!

I know we can visit them. I know they'll have e-mail and Facebook. But Jerry needs some live, in-the-flesh friends that live in Los Angeles (preferably on the Eastside). Where the heck are all the anime and manga loving, video game playing, computer hacking teens around here? I know they've got to be out there. And I know some of them have got to be homeschooling.

But that's not really the problem. I'm sure Jerry will find other friends. He's already started developing a couple new friendships that I can encourage. The problem is they aren't his old friends. And he wants the old ones.

I can't stop thinking of the Billy Collins poem "On Turning Ten." Jerry's obviously older than ten, but I think he must be experiencing some of the same feelings. It breaks my heart.

On Turning Ten by Billy Collins

The whole idea of it makes me feel
like I'm coming down with something,
something worse than any stomach ache
or the headaches I get from reading in bad light--
a kind of measles of the spirit,
a mumps of the psyche,
a disfiguring chicken pox of the soul.

You tell me it is too early to be looking back,
but that is because you have forgotten
the perfect simplicity of being one
and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.
But I can lie on my bed and remember every digit.
At four I was an Arabian wizard.
I could make myself invisible
by drinking a glass of milk a certain way.
At seven I was a soldier, at nine a prince.

But now I am mostly at the window
watching the late afternoon light.
Back then it never fell so solemnly
against the side of my tree house,
and my bicycle never leaned against the garage
as it does today,
all the dark blue speed drained out of it.

This is the beginning of sadness, I say to myself,
as I walk through the universe in my sneakers.
It is time to say good-bye to my imaginary friends,
time to turn the first big number.

It seems only yesterday I used to believe
there was nothing under my skin but light.
If you cut me I could shine.
But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life,
I skin my knees. I bleed.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope everyone has a fabulous day and that you all find many, many things (people, places, moments, etc) to be thankful for. And on that very subject, I received an e-mail today from a friend (one of my favorite people on the planet, actually) that I don't see or talk to nearly enough. She has started a blog. Here's what she has to say about it:

Untold numbers are experiencing Short Sale and Foreclosure on their homes, due to circumstances out of our control, and yet we're too ashamed to talk about it. I've recently joined these masses. The purpose of this blog is to document my own journey into Short Sale, in the hopes of easing the burden, allaying the fears, and answering the questions of others who are also traveling this path.

Visit her blog at Short Sale Mama.

Feeling Weepy

I've been a little down lately. I've been trying to pinpoint the cause for weeks without success. Yesterday I was feeling especially blah but I chalked that up to finishing the last Harry Potter audio book. It's the second time around (I'd already read them) so you'd think I might be immune to the feeling of loss that accompanies the end of a great series of books. Alas, I still mourned for all the characters I'd be leaving within the pages--I mean the CD. But after we finished the last disc Jerry wanted to run over to the mall for some pre-birthday window shopping at the Lego Store, so I didn't have too much time to feel sad.

As we were driving to the mall I looked over at Jerry in the passenger seat and noticed what looked like a bird's nest in his hair. "Oh my God," I said, "You've got to fix your hair before we go into the mall." Jerry eyed me suspiciously and said "Why do you care so much how I look? Are you worried about your rep?"

I had to laugh because yes, that's pretty much what I'm worried about and I said so. But I also said I was worried about his "rep" too. "Mom," he said, "it's not like I'm going to the mall to make friends. It's highly unlikely someone is going to walk up to me and said 'Hi. Wanna be my friend' at the mall."

So then I was trying to explain (these kind of explanations never go well for me) how even though it's good not to care what people think they are still making assumptions about you and things are just easier if the initial assumptions they make are positive. "It just saves a lot of work in the end," I said.

Then Jerry said "I don't get it. Wait, you don't have to explain it again. It's okay. I don't really care." And he turned up the music.

Ha! Then, as I was marveling at his level of understanding and at how much he has to teach me, he said, "Mom, you know when I get all sad about not having friends and I get all 'Oh I need more friends' and stuff? It's just because I'm tired. I only feel that way when I'm tired or I haven't eaten or something. It doesn't really have anything to do with having friends or not having friends."

I almost started crying. (I did say I've been weepy lately.) How did he get so mature? How did he know that was just the thing I needed to hear and that I needed to hear it from him? Where does this amazing insight come from?

So I was feeling all better and amazed and we spent some time in the Lego Store then came home because Jackson was on his way over for a play date. Back at home the blahs came back, so I watched the first Harry Potter movie (we're going to watch the movies again now) and that made me feel a little better. And then Warren got home with groceries and made dinner for me and that made me feel even better.

I'm wondering if part of what's got me feeling low is that I'm finally settling into our unschooling lifestyle. The honeymoon phase is over and though I'm still gaga over the whole idea of unschooling it's not new anymore. So now I have to figure out how it works with our regular life. This whole past year has been a whirwind, especially since we spent a quarter of it in New Zealand. All the excitement is over now. We don't have any trips planned--I've put a ban on travel this year thanks to the ever expanding cost of building our deck.

Mainly I think I need to set some goals for myself and start working toward them. During our year of deschooling I purposely stayed away from setting any big goals so we'd have the freedom to make split second decisions and to find a natural rhythm for ourselves. But I think this is starting to feel a bit like aimless wandering to me.

Little by little I've started making a dent in the chaos that is my office so I should be able to work in there again soon. That's where I'm going to start. I've got to set some of my own goals and start working toward them. Hopefully that will make me feel better.

Five-Day Plan

We're taking Jerry to summer camp tomorrow so you may not hear from me for a few days (the horror!). Here's the plan: the three of us fly up to Sacramento tomorrow morning, borrow my mom and dad's car, and drive to camp (even though his session doesn't officially start until the following day). We'll all spend the night at camp on Saturday night (so Warren will get to see it--yippee!) and on Sunday Warren and I will return to Sac (but since Jerry doesn't officially start camp until after lunch we'll probably take advantage of the morning to go for a swim in the river--I can't wait!). Warren flies home that evening, I spend Sunday night at my mom's, Monday night at my friend Jill's, Tuesday night at my friend Zefra's and on Wednesday I hit the rails. Yes, I'm taking the train home! My ticket was only $43!! Sure, it's going to take twice as long as it would to drive, but I'll be blissfully alone with a book (or two), an iPod, and a lovely view as we speed (or inch) along the California Coast. Wahoo!

On the unschooling front we've had a great week. Jerry and I have been making personal crests (we're going to make a family one, too), building with Kaplas, listening to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (poor Harry--it's a tough year for him), putting together a big puzzle, baking, and generally enjoying our time together. Oh, and homeschool park day yesterday was great. It's always a struggle to get Jerry to go, but early in the week one of the boys had sent out an e-mail suggesting people bring water guns (it's been sooooo hot here lately!) and that helped a lot. We picked up Jackson on the way, stopped and bought a couple water guns and went to the park. I hardly saw the boys once we arrived. By the time we left, 2 1/2 hours later, they were soaked to the bone and thoroughly happy about it.

It was a good day for me too. I usually glom onto the same person every week (sorry Lisa!), which means I don't meet very many people. But my friend left early yesterday so I was forced to branch out and ended up having a great discussion with four or five other mom's about why we homeschool (because one of the mom's was new to homeschooling). It was really nice.

Now we just have a couple last minute items to buy for camp, Warren and I need to pack our stuff, and we'll be all ready to help Jerry begin his sleep-away camp adventure!

Beach Days, Computer Fairs & Summer Camp

It's been a busy five days since my last post. On Thursday Jerry and I met some friends we'd made at the Life is Good Conference down at Salt Creek Beach in Dana Point--it was a half way point since they live in San Diego and we're in L.A. The kids had a great time boogie boarding, making sand castles, and playing the DS. We stopped at Starbucks after leaving the beach to prolong our visit.

On our way home Jerry and I stopped by my grandparent's house. It was a quick visit but we hadn't seen them since before we left for New Zealand. At that time my grandma had just gone into the hospital with pneumonia. I'd thought about putting off our trip but Grandma promised she'd still be here when we got back and somehow that made me feel much better about going. You might think she shouldn't make such promises because a person can't control when they'll die, but if you knew my grandma you'd think otherwise. She's not going until she's good and ready. No matter how sick she gets, regardless of the physical difficulties life throws her way, her fierce determination to live trumps them all. Go Grandma!

Yesterday was the day Jerry has been waiting for since we got the idea to build a PC: The Computer Fair. His friend Jackson came over early in the morning and Warren, Jerry, myself and Jackson headed out to the Pomona County Fairgrounds for what promised to be a computer parts mecca.

In spite of the terrific prices we managed to drop a huge amount of money on components. We ended up going with an Intel Core 2 Duo system and followed the recommendations for the value gaming system at SharkyExtreme.com. I made one decision that I'm not so sure about, though. We couldn't find the recommended motherboard so we went with one the sales guy recommended that's almost exactly the same but made by Asus instead of Gigabyte. I'm not sure why I bought it, to be honest. For everything else I stuck, religiously, to our shopping list (we made a stop at Fry's to get the case and I'm ordering one last part--the CD/DVD drive--online). But for the motherboard--one of the most important components!--I bought a different one. Dumb, huh?

After we left the fair (we were almost back to the freeway) I asked Warren to turn around so I could go back and ask the guy to check and be sure the specs were the same. He did and they were pretty close so I kept it, figuring I can always return it if we decide to go with another one. The one thing we got that Jerry can actually use before we get the PC built is an amazing sound system. It was only 55 bucks (with a subwoofer and surround sound) and we love the way it sounds! All in all it was just a really fun day.

Another boon to come out of the day was Jerry's decision that he wants to go to summer camp. He and Jackson went to sleep-away camp together last year for three weeks and they both wanted to go again this year. It's mind-blowingly expensive but it's such an amazing place we were happy to fork over a limb or two to pay his tuition. And then a couple months ago Jerry said he didn't want to go. But they don't do refunds. They could credit the money toward Family Camp or next year's kid's camp but there was no way that money was going back into our checking account. Needless to say this caused some strife. We definitely didn't want to send Jerry against his will, but we didn't want three thousand dollars to go to waste either. And I felt sure that if Jackson went and Jerry didn't, Jerry would regret it in the end.

Yes, we could have used the money for Family Camp but Warren can't attend since he's working and if the whole family doesn't go then it's just not the same. Luckily, on our way to the computer fair we spent some time reminiscing about Jerry and Jack's experience last year and by the time we arrived Jerry was looking forward to going again. I can't tell you what a relief it was! He had said before that he would go to make me happy but I was really uncomfortable with that. I wanted him to go, but I didn't want him to do it for me. So after talking with Jackson and being reminded of the fun and the friends, he says he's going because he wants to go. Not for me. Phew!

So that means that this week will be spent in a mad rush to get him ready to go. Saturday the three of us will fly up to Sacramento (yet again!) and drive him from there, to camp. Then he'll spend three weeks on the most idyllic ranch you can imagine. Meanwhile, I'll be visiting with friends, reading loads of books, organizing my office (yes, you will see before and after pictures!), going to the movies, spending time with Warren, cleaning out the garage, taking long walks on the beach, going to a writing conference, and just generally enjoying a rare few weeks of total freedom. I'll miss Jerry, of course, so I'll also spend time writing him letters (though not as many as last year--he said every day was a bit much) and sending care packages, and checking the camp website for photos of his smiling face. My boy is growing up!

Home Again

We drove home from Sacramento yesterday and now I'm faced with putting into words everything that's happened in the last two weeks--namely the Life is Good Unschooling Conference! I did start writing a post after Day One of the conference, but never managed to finish it. Here's what I started with:

Our First Unschooling Conference, Or Thank Goodness For Pokemon

It's the end of day one at Life is Good in Vancouver, Washington. Here's how things are going so far. But first let me just say that I know this is only day one and without a doubt things will change before the conference is over on Sunday.

Right off the bat we had a brilliant stroke of luck. It turns out Diana was meeting a 15-year-old unschooled girl from Maryland in Vancouver the day before the conference. They had met a few years back at Live and Learn and Olivia, said girl, was flying out to stay with Diana for the Life is Good conference. Luckily for us Diana was delayed and was looking for someone to host Olivia in their room for Wednesday night. We offered our extra bed (Warren won't arrive until Saturday morning) and Olivia took it. So we spent our first night in the company of a smart, gregarious, friendly, interesting and interested nearly sixteen-year-old girl with dreadlocks and a fabulously strong sense of self. It was great. I think we might have felt kind of lonely without her. So thanks Diana for hooking us up!

Today the conference officially started. I was hoping we'd find some friends for Jerry yesterday b

That's it. The "b" was for "but we didn't." I was going to go on to say it was hard making friends for the both of us. It was touch and go in the beginning for Jerry. He was really overwhelmed by all the kids. I worried that he would stay in the hotel room the entire time but Jerry braved the crowds and made some terrific friends. One of his favorite new friends was a 9-year-old girl just down the hall from us named Violet. They had a great time together playing their Ds's (Jerry's using his old one now) and talking about Pokemon. There were lots of Pokemon fans at the conference, by the way, and I think that's part of what helped Jerry to connect with people. He also made friends with a girl named Michelle who, in addition to loving Pokemon, was into Manga and Anime (two more of Jerry's favorite things). Then there was Simon (from England). On Sunday afternoon Jerry went with Simon's family to a shop that sold Pokemon and Digimon cards. He loved it so much we went back on Monday. (It took us two hours to find and then it was closed when we got there so we had to go back two hours later! At least we knew the way the second time around. Can I just say Portland, Oregon is not the easiest city to navigate?)

So anyway, Jerry made friends and had fun. He even stayed out later than me a couple nights which I was happy about because it meant he was having fun and feeling free, but which also gave me a taste of what the teenage years must be like for parents--and I wasn't liking it. I knew he was in the hotel--somewhere. And I knew he'd come back to the room--eventually. But I didn't know exactly where he was or when he'd be back. I hadn't given him any instructions about where to stay or when to come "home." I was completely in the dark and relying 100% on Jerry's own good sense to keep him safe. When he finally came back to the room (and it wasn't even that late) I still had a hard time sleeping. It was just so weird to totally let go of my control like that and trust that Jerry would make the right decisions and come back to me all in one piece. I'm bound to get plenty of practice with trusting him as the years go by. And I suppose starting out by trusting him to learn what he needs to know will make trusting him to keep himself safe a little easier. Maybe? I hope so anyway!

So that was Jerry's experience at the conference--overwhelming but good. My experience was similar. I found that the people who already knew each other tended to stick together. It would have been nice if there'd been some kind of gathering for the people who were new to the unschooling tribe to get together and introduce themselves because that was the one disappointment--it wasn't as easy as I'd hoped it would be to connect with people. It's just so weird to go up to people you don't know and start talking to them--for me anyway. But that's what I ended up doing in the end so I managed to make some friends, too. Oh and I met some fellow bloggers, which was really cool. 

The presentations were good but there wasn't one that especially stood out for me. I really enjoyed hearing what Alliison McKee and Mary Lewis had to say. Both of them did a lot to assuage my fears. Warren went to the Secret Society of Unschooling Dads discussion and I think he got a lot out of that. He finally agreed that unschooling makes a lot of sense, but I know he still worries. It's great to feel like we're finally on the same page, though. 

I didn't take any pictures at the conference but lots of other people did. Mary, the conference diva, has lots of pics on her blog at Zenmomma's Garden. I'll post more links to photos as I find them. All in all I'm really glad we went. I still hope to go to Live and Learn but I'm not sure if Jerry is going to want to go. I know I can go on my own but I can't decide if I want to. I think I'd really miss the experience of being there with my family. Part of what made Life is Good so good was the fact that we were there together. Really, the main reason I want to go to Live and Learn (aside from hoping I'll be inspired by the speakers) is that I want to meet my blogging friends in person. But it's going to be sooooo expensive in the end I'm not sure if I can justify it. We'll see.

Since I haven't managed to describe the best parts about the conference at all, you should go here for a terrific description of what was best about being surrounded by like-minded adults and children. It's written by one of my new friends, Robin.

Once the conference was over Jerry and I drove about three hours north to visit my aunt and uncle. They just finished building a house on some lakefront property they've had for years. They used to camp on it but now they've sold their house and are living full-time on this little slice of paradise. It was lovely. I helped out in the garden. My uncle very graciously gave Jerry free reign to create his own account on their computer and helped us try to discover what went wrong with our mousebot (aside from problem with the melted on/off switch, which is pretty obvious). We paddled around the lake. I saw an eagle and lots of other birds. We watched So You Think You Can Dance. We read the first book of Percy Jackson and the Olympians. And now we can't wait to go back!

So now that we're home here's what's on tap: building that computer, fixing our mousebot (it only goes backwards), keeping my worms alive in the vermicompost bin, cleaning out the garage, going to the Griffith Park Observatory to look at their GIANT periodic Table of Elements because I'm reading all about atoms right now, resting, reading some more---------

Oh my god how could I have forgotten to mention the highlight of my visit to Portland!? We went to Powell's book store!! (Can you hear the angels singing in the background?) It was huge and wonderful and I want to bring my sleeping bag next time we're there so I can hide out in a corner at closing time and spend the entire night roaming the 77,000 square feet of stacks and stacks and stacks of books. I LOVED it. I get all giddy just thinking about it....

Okay, I guess that about does it for now. We're home for a month before we head back to Northern California for my parents annual July 4th party, then in mid-July Jerry starts his three weeks of summer camp at an absolutely idyllic ranch in the Shasta-Trinity Alps, and by the time he comes home summer will be nearly over. I'm about to experience my second summer in four months (one in the southern hemisphere and one in the northern) and I still feel like the season is too short! How is that possible!?

A Warm Welcome

We had a really nice first weekend here in Auckland. I have lots of pictures and news to share but I'll start out with the best part and get around to the rest later in the day. Cate invited us to have pizza with her family and a few friends on Saturday night. It was the best possible way to start our stay in New Zealand!

We started out with brie and crackers, home grown olives, wine, beer and other goodies
while the kids set up Jerry's Guitar Hero (and tried to avoid being photographed).
Then the kids went for a swim. There's a big age difference between Jerry and Cate's kids but they were so good to him. They really made him feel welcome.
Jerry was in heaven.
That's Cate's husband after their son tossed him into the water. It must be kind of scary when your baby boy gets big enough to throw you in the pool. It's really funny for onlookers, though.
We had pizza for dinner, more wine, lots of laughs. The kids continued to battle it out on Guitar Hero. For dessert we had the most delicious ice cream with fresh summer fruits. I wish I had taken a photo of the fruit--it was beautiful. At the end of the evening Jerry just wanted to know one thing. "Can we come back tomorrow?"

Show Me The Munnies

What an awesome day! It started off with homeschool circus class. Jerry couldn't be dragged out of bed in time (the cats kept us up last night) so I went without him. Our teacher said I did better on the trapeze today than I have since I started class. Yippee! (Basically, this means I didn't pee my pants when asked to hang upside down--I'm not so keen on hanging upside down.) After class I picked Jerry up and we met our friends Lisa, Zach, Danica and Finneas at a little hole in the wall pizza joint for lunch. Then we went to our very favorite toy store, Monkeyhouse Toys, so Jerry could show his friends around and introduce them to Myra, the fabulous store owner. The kids all bought mini munnies and we took them back to Lisa's so they could customize them.


They painted while Lisa and I chatted. Remember when I was moaning about needing a friend? I'm finally making friends in the homeschool group. Both Jerry and I are.

After we left Zachary made a video about the day and posted it on YouTube. Take a look:


I love unschooling!

A Day At The Zoo & Other Fun Stuff

We've had two really fun days. Yesterday was homeschool park day and Jerry had a friend over in the morning then we all went to park day for the afternoon. Jerry hung out with two other boys at the park almost the whole time we were there and only after we'd been there for a couple hours told me he was bored and wanted to leave. The first few months of park day he always wanted to leave pretty soon after our arrival so this was major progress.

Today I had a doctor's appointment and Jerry went with me so we could stop and pick up a Webkinz on our way home. We stopped at the Farmer's Market, bought a Webkinz and then had a butter and sugar crepe. We've been unable to find a crepe that meets Jerry's satisfaction. He had his first crepe in Paris and nothing else seems to compare. We keep looking though!

After the Farmer's Market we met some homeschool friends at the zoo. It was so nice. The weather was beautiful and lots of animals were out. We went to the bird show and I bravely volunteered to have a bird land on my arm and fly off with a dollar bill (he returned it). I don't usually volunteer for that kind of stuff but the kids were sooo excited about it I had to give in. We saw the new gorilla exhibit. It was so exciting to see them and watch them interact with each other and the crowd but it was sad, too. They're so beautiful. A visit to the zoo always brings up such conflicting emotions! On the one hand it's great to see the animals, on the other I hate to see them in captivity.

My parents are coming down this weekend and I have two events happening that I look forward to all year long. First, I'm going to the Jane Austen Ball on Saturday night. Drat! I just realized I forgot to wash my dress and buy shoes! Well, maybe I can get shoes tomorrow. And I've only worn the dress twice. It can't really be that dirty. Can it? Anyway, it will be a fun evening of Regency costume and English Country Dancing. My friend Angela has secured two willing men to go as our partners (both of our husbands steadfastly refuse any involvement in the event). Then, on Sunday I'm going to my annual book club party. I love, love, love my book club.

I'm going to leave you with some pictures Warren just sent me from New Zealand. Today was his first day off so he was able to do some exploring.

Making Friends & Leaving Town

Here's a picture of Jerry and Ravenpaw:


Jerry has a friend over from the homeschool group today. I'm so glad! I actually had butterflies in my stomach as we were driving home from the park with this boy in the car. Isn't that silly? I think it's just because I know Jerry was really wanting to get together with this boy and he's been wanting new friends so badly. It's tough for him because he likes to sit on the sidelines and watch a bit before jumping into anything new--relationships included--and it takes longer to make friends that way. I do suppose those friends are more likely to stick, though, since they're more carefully chosen.

The one thing that's bothering me now is that just as Jerry is starting to make friends with kids in the homeschool group we're going to leave the country. That kind of stinks. I'd already decided that Jerry and I will probably just go to New Zealand for three months even though Warren will be there a bit longer (mainly because we'll save money by traveling later), but I'm wondering if we should only go for two months instead. Even as I write that sentence I think the answer is probably no. That would be making a decision based on fear and I generally try not to do that. The fear, I think, is that it will take even longer for Jerry to develop friendships if we leave. But I guess his friendships will develop in whatever time they take to develop no matter where we are. I can't force them to happen faster so we might as well take full advantage of this opportunity to experience life in another part of the world. Right? I hope I'm right, anyway. Still, I wonder...

Catching Up

It's a good thing I have my blog bookmarked, otherwise I might not have found it! It's been a whole week since I last posted. We had a great time with our guests from Mexico. Here we are: clockwise from the top that's Francesca (with the missing tooth), Adriana, Ivana, me and Jerry.
We went to the Hollywood Farmer's Market.
Played on the computer.

Looked at the Christmas lights in Griffith Park.

And went to the Science Center.





It was a great week. The kids had a great time together in spite of the language barrier--and sometimes because of it. The girls thought it was hilarious whenever Jerry spoke Spanish. I had two excellent little tutors and it was wonderful to catch up with my friend, Adriana, again.

Week With No Classes/Making Friends

Jerry's solution to the Not-Wanting-To-Go-To-Classes dilemma was to take a week off of all classes. So we dropped all classes for last week and yesterday Jerry said he'd like to keep it that way--except for drawing. He still wants to continue drawing.

One of the reasons I had signed him up for all those classes in the beginning (granted this was before "Unschooling" became a part of my vocabulary) was so he could meet other kids. I really worry about him making friends. The drawing class is taught at our house by a tutor so there are no other kids. We go to homeschool park day every other week and book club once a month, but that doesn't give him much of a chance to get to know anyone too well--it takes him a while to warm up to people. He likes one boy in particular from park day, but it's been hard to set up play dates for the two of them because the boy's family is really busy. So with no classes, save drawing, it's going to be hard for him to make friends with other homeschooled kids and he's not really interested in maintaining his friendship with the one good friend he had in school.

Thankfully he's still got his one very best friend. But I do wish he had more...

A Tall Glass Of Whine

I need a friend. She should be a seasoned unschooler, as full of wisdom as I am full of doubts. She needs to live in Los Angeles and she should be planning on staying for a while because I'm tired of having my friends move away. If her husband happens to work in the film industry so much the better. While our husbands are working twelve to eighteen hour days, we'll have dinner with the kids, go on field trips and plan fun (and educational!) vacations. We'll share our whines over wine!

As you can no doubt tell, I took another ride on the deschooling express and it's going downhill fast. This whole unschooling business just seems too easy. We're having fun. J is taking a few classes in subjects that interest him, so I know he's learning something in the traditional sense. But all this fun is making me nervous. I mean, isn't learning supposed to be difficult? What am I doing to his future? Why can't I just pick an emotion (a happy one) and stick with it!?