May 14, 2010

Upon College Graduation

Yesterday I was looking for notebook dividers in my old writing notebook when I found the following essay. It made me laugh and then cringe, and cringe again, and then laugh. Then it made me think about how much I love unschooling. Anyway, here it is in its embarrassing, unedited entirety:

Upon College Graduation, an unfinished essay
written by the girl formerly known as Colleen G.

Reality hit me smack dab aside the head just as soon as I removed my graduation cap, thus supplying a clear and easy target. True, reality had poked his thick callused fingers into the birthday cake of my existence once or twice before–but that was along the edges where intrusions sometimes go unnoticed or are, at least, easier to hide.

This time he meant business. He was going for more than just the trim surrounding those creamy white folds of frosting. He was going for the whole cake (with ice cream on the side). Yes, reality dipped his fat, grubby hands right into the center of my relatively untouched birthday cake. He dipped, grabbed, squeezed, twirled, and tossed. At times he gobbled. And then, he threw it right in my face.

So, I started my college-educated adulthood with a face full of frosting and a small lump the size of a plastic ballerina on the side of my head.
I swear I didn't mean for there to be any sexual metaphor going on there. It was just supposed to be about how graduating from college and joining the "real world" sucked. (Though I was heavily into Tom Robbins at the time, which could explain a thing or two.)

And why did reading it make me so happy to be unschooling, you ask? Because Jerry is already in the real world. By the time he is the age I was when I wrote that essay (or the beginning of what was meant to be an essay) he'll be so far ahead of me in life experience and self-knowledge that I don't think he'll ever experience those first few years after college (if he goes) as anything but joyful. For me they were the exact opposite. Anyway, I hope you got a good laugh out of that. Or at least a good cringe. :)


JJ Ross said...

I did get a good chuckle but I think a better descriptor for this (at least when accompanied by your new post today) is "charming" -- :D
Love, JJ

Colleen said...

Thanks, JJ. :)

Shady Lady said...

Sexual metaphors aside, thanks for yet another reminder why unschooling rocks!!

Cate said...

"A small lump the size of a plastic ballerina" - love it :-)

And like I said on Facebook - you look SO cute in your cap & gown!