April 1, 2008

How To Avoid An Outburst

I have just finished a bowl of pasta with kalamata olives, feta cheese and tomatoes smothered in Italian dressing. The pasta was really just a vehicle for getting the cheese and olives into my mouth. My mouth is very happy now. I'm also sipping a nearly finished Monteith's Original Ale. That's good too.

It's been two days since Bad Day/Bad Mom and I think I've figured a few things out. First of all pretty much everyone (okay, everyone) that left comments to that last post agreed that it's alright for Mom to lose her cool every now and then; many people commented on the fact that I probably just need some time to myself (Amen!); and all agreed that it's okay to not feel ready for a hug just because your child wants one. I gratefully respond to each and everyone one of you: "Phew! Unschooling doesn't mean I have to be perfect!?"

The day after our Bad Night I remained emotionally removed from everything and everyone. We met Caroline, the wife of Warren's co-worker, and her three-year-old son for lunch--our husbands were miraculously able to break away from work with the rest of the editing crew--so I had to put on a happy face which, no doubt, was a good thing. After lunch we went to a place called Clip 'n' Climb for some indoor rock climbing with Caroline and her adorable, way to young to cause such problems, son. I looked longingly at his innocent little face all day, trying to conjure up the Jerry I used to know. Oh fine, I'm being dramatic. I really like the Jerry I know today. (I liked the three-year-old Jerry, too. Did I ever tell you how he used to tell everyone his name was Batman? Strangers would ask him his name and with a perfectly straight face he'd say "Batman." When said person laughed and said "Oh, how sweet, but what's your real name?" He'd look at them like they were completely daft and say, "Batman, idiot." Actually, he left out the idiot part, but you could tell he was thinking it.)

So, we passed the day as if we were under water (We did have fun at the rock climbing though!) and on the bus ride home finally talked about the previous night. We both agreed that we weren't quite over it yet but it felt better (at last) to talk about it.

Now, back to what I've figured out or, How To Avoid An Outburst (for a while, anyway):
1. Get some alone time. I need it. Enough said.
2. Stop doing all the work around the house on my own. Even though I didn't think it bothered me that I was doingdishescookingdinner-
groceryshoppingwashinglaundrymakingbedssweepingcleaningpayingbills all by myself while Jerry lounged on the couch, I realize now I was, subliminally, very bitter about it. So I'm going to start asking Jerry to pitch in more.
3. Buy some soothing herbal tea (in lieu of heavy drugs). I find tea--especially English Breakfast or Earl Grey--really soothing and I've required four to five cups of soothing a day since we got here. So I bought some Sleepytime tea in hopes that it will knock me out. (I'm already using Rescue Remedy Sleep and it's not working!)
4. Read Eat Pray Love--again. I didn't realize I needed this until I bought it today as a birthday gift for someone. I started rereading it on the bus ride to the party and didn't want to give it up when our ride ended. So I bought another copy for myself. In fact, I think I'll go to bed right now and get reading.

(But first, while we're on the topic of books, I have to say that the recent New York Times article, It's Not You, It's Your Books, has given me a total complex. I've been thinking about what my favorite books say about me and I'm afraid they might say I'm shallow and girlie. First off the only two books I've read twice (and loved both times) are Pride and Prejudice and I Capture the Castle. I also loved Lolita, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles, Saturday, The Goat (or, Who is Sylvia), loads of short stories, and a bunch of other un-girlie stuff. But I'm thinking the two (soon to be three) books I've read twice don't sound very impressive. That's all. I just wanted to get that off my chest.)

No comments: